Wednesday, 1 August 2007

Move Closer

Thanks largely to their prolific way with B-sides and recent lack of associated quality control, there are a few songs in The Bluetones' discography that are painful on repeat listens. Only their Phyllis Nelson cover "Move Closer" is painful the first time. There's not much wrong with such a cover in theory - it could easily have turned out at least as well as "Woman In Love", with for my money much better starting material. The final results, though, are as despicable as they are inexplicable.

The basic crimes are threefold:
  • Inferior, watery rendition of original backing track.
  • Copius fake crowd noises. Yikes.
  • Artificially slowed down, Barry White impression vocals.
Actually, you might as well just take the last one. They're that mind-bogglingly, skin-crawlingly horrible. I don't even want to make it through the whole song for the purposes of this entry. If it's meant to be funny, it fails hugely on that level too. It fails on any level ever.

FAIL.

YouTube: Original

2 comments:

Chris Brown said...

In contrast to my experience with 'Home Fires' (see 'Be Careful What You Dream' comment), when this came out I knew I was certainly not going to buy both CDs and I chose this one in the hope of another 'Woman In Love'. How wrong can you be?

I listened to it for what I think was the second time ever in order to make this comment. I'm not banking on a third.

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